Back in the first post, I said this blog will be focused on utopia (and therefore dystopia and all their little family of topias). So what does raising funds for programs to prevent suicide have to do with that? Well, helping each other is community-building. And community-building is utopian, deep down. It's a belief that we can make the world better through compassion.
Every year, I join my friend Beth's fundraising team, the Jay Walkers, for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's Walk Out of Darkness.
You can find my fundraising page here (link). You can also join the team here (link). Beth has a moving description of why she does this every year, and this is the 10th year since she started.
Why do I join this every year? Partly, it's because Beth has been my friend since high school, and when a friend asks for this kind of help, of course I say yes.
But partly it's because I have lost friends to suicide, and I have almost lost other friends and family members. And I have experienced depression and suicidal ideation several times in my life, never strong enough that I was in danger of acting on it, but it was right there in the forefront of my mind.
My depression is periodical...it comes on slowly, settles in, and poisons my brain for weeks or months before fading away. I've had bouts of it since I was a kid, and I've been treated for it, and these days I just know that it's going to go away after awhile so I don't worry too much about it. I know I'm going to be sitting in a well of darkness for awhile, thinking about ending things, but reminding myself I'll be fine, eventually.
The thing that keeps me in this world more than anything else is knowing that I would be wounding people if I left. A few people would be absolutely wrecked. So I turn that outward, and do my part each year to contribute to Beth's team.
Now, if you donate, thank you! If you decide to join and help fundraise, know that you don't have to be in Austin, Texas, on October 18 (the day of the walk). I walk where I live in Japan. There are other people who do their walks far from Texas, too. We take photos on our walks and record little videos, and Beth stitches them together to share with the team and the world.
You can also just share this. I know there is a lot of fundraising and mutual aid requests, and nobody can donate to all of them. But if you can't, maybe one of your contacts can, so please share away.
Thank you.